Best electric bikes of year for every kind of rider-top best electric bikes for 2023|techboygo

 

This ain’t your grandpa’s bike!

TechBoygo..

 

Kuberg Ranger 

This is the lovechild of a dirtbik and an electric scooter.

It has a built-in mode called “go-anywhere”

mode.

Do you think it could take me to the moon? Or to Oprah’s house? Or to the universe where my ex still loves me?

This bike makes you want to throw your hands

up in the air and finally ask Andrea in accounting out to dinner.

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She’ll say no, but you’ll have a cool

bike! It can go 50 miles per hour! That's faster than a cheetah with a jetpack

strapped to its back. Okay, that’s a lie. Still, it’s pretty fast. And the lightweight steel frame means you'll

easily lift it off your body after you wipe out.

This bike is a great choice for someone who

doesn’t know if they prefer sitting down or standing up. And I’m not talking about the toilet here.

Brekr Model F-

This is an electric fat bike. That name sounds a little insensitive. Could we say it’s an electric bike of size?

“Fat Bike” sounds like what my bullies

would tell me to ride home as a kid. “Hey Fatso, get on your fat bike!” Okay, enough of that. The fat tires are pretty great.

you'll be able to handle any bump or pothole

that comes your way. You'll feel like a tank rolling down the street, invincible and unstoppable.

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The Brekr sees themselves as the bike of the

future. But if I need a ride somewhere, I need the

bike of right now.

It’s customizable, so when I crash into

a bus, everyone will know I had personality. It has a silent, hassle-free belt.

I wish I had a silent, hassle-free girlfriend. Am I right, fellas? I’m very lonely.

It has a tracking device and remote disabling

function if stolen. But if the bike is so fat, how are they even

picking it up?

Goose-

This next item is my personal favorite jus because of its name.

This is called the Goose. Yeah, isn’t that awesome?

The Goose. Not even silly goose.

This bike use Hollywood robbery movies...

Top robbery movies.

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Just Goose.

This a camping system for bad boys (and girls)

on two wheels.

It’s like having a hotel room on your motorcycle,

but it’s not a hotel room.

It’s a tent! And that’s not an engagement ring. It’s a lie, isn’t it, Sheila?! With the Goose, you can live on the road! 

Or next to the road. Do not set this up on a road.

Camp on a mountain! Camp in the woods!

Camp on a busy highway!

Okay, wait, sorry again, I already told you

not to do that. I wish I had one of these, just so I could

tell people, “Yeah, I came to work today

on my Goose.”

The CargoDrive-

with the CargoDrive, you can carry everything and anything on your bike and still be able

to ride up a hill without breaking a sweat.

We’re talking groceries, furniture, my mom,

your mom, a cello, a dead body I found in the lake, and more groceries.

Now, you might be thinking, "But hey, I don't

need to carry anything heavy on my bike, why would I even bother with the CargoDrive?"

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Well, my dear friend, let me tell you, there's

no such thing as too much junk in the trunk. You never know when you might need to transport

a lifesize cutout of Danny DeVito, or a giant inflatable Danny DeVito, or some groceries. It also has an electric motor, which is a

little froufrou for me.

I carry my groceries home like MEN do: juggling

them while riding a unicycle.

Bull-E-

This is called the Bull-E. What kind of name is that?

Is this the guy who would give Wall-E swirlies

in middle school? Are they marketing TO bullies?

Or are they saying you’re going to GET bullied

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if you ride this?

Cause I’m going to get bullied either way If you saw me, you’d understand.

It advertises that it has a "lean forward

riding stance" that adds "style and drama."

If you ride a scooter with style and drama,

get ready to be bullied. Just a forewarning.

It’s got LED lights, Bluetooth speakers,

and a digital dashboard. What are you even going to do with all that? Are you going to throw a dance party on the

sidewalk?

Are you going to live stream your commute

to work?

What's next, a built-in coffee maker? If you’re going to ride the Bull-E, be as

dramatic as possible, and pray your bullies can’t run faster than this scooter can go.

Arara-

The Arara. is a battery-free bike light that uses magnets to power up colorful LEDs.

Alright, I’m listening.

Its lights come in blue, green, yellow, red,

white, and pink.

Who are they marketing to, the Power Rangers? I’d make all my boys get a bunch of the

pink lights, and we could start our Barbie-themed biker gang.

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This summer… life in plastic… it’s bombastic.

I don’t got any boys.Anyway, I don’t need this. First of all, I don’t ride a bike. Second of all, I don’t go outside. And third, I miss my ex-girlfriend so much.

I’d do anything for you, Sharon. I totally ride bikes, guys.

I was joking. I just use a disco ball instead of a light.

You can also pattern the lights. Okay, that one I don’t get. Patterned lights? What, are we trying to call Batman or something?

Bandit9 Supermarine-

So, the Bandit9 Supermarine, is supposed to look like a flying mobula ray, whatever that is.

Is this thing supposed to fly or something? I’m going, to be honest here, guys.

I had to google what the heck a flying mobula

ray is.

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I don’t want to talk trash, but do motorcyclists

want a bike that looks like a fish? Does anyone need to ride around on a bike

that looks like a prop from a sci-fi movie?

Who cares if it looks like a flying mobula

ray? I'd rather have a motorcycle that looks likea  motorcycle.

It comes in black, silver, and gold.

How exciting. I mean, why not throw in some neon pink or

lime green? Cheeta print?

Spice things up a bit, you know? Once I see these being ridden on the street,

I know we’re living in a dystopian future.

BikerTop-

So this is a tent thing for riding your bike whenever, in any weather. Well, in the rain, anyway.

I don’t think this would do anything in

a tornado. This is somewhere between a tent and a windshield,

and an umbrella. Do you know what it looks like?Bumper bikes.

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I want these bikers to start jousting or playing

chicken or something. What if the wind is blowing from behind you? Would the BikerTop catch the wind like Mary

Poppins’ umbrella and suck you into the sky?

Just ride your bike when it's nice out, and

stay inside when it's not. Problem solved. Or put on a raincoat and call it a day. Or stick an umbrella in front of you and hope

for the best. I’d want one of these on my team in a paintball

fight.

ZiiLoc-

Tired of your bike being stolen? Do what I do: carry your bike on your back

with you everywhere you go so no one can steal it!

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The ZiiLock is a small, foldable bike lock

with a Bluetooth or fingerprint lock. I tell you what, I can’t imagine myself

owning a bike that would cost enough to lock up like this.

I usually get my bikes by stealing them from

neighborhood kids. So they’re free for me. I’m kidding. You all know I don’t have a bike.

These locks are harder to cut than regular

ones and probably hurt more when you hit people with them like a whip. Cause that’s what I use my standard bike

lock for. What?

I told you I didn’t have a bike.

Fend Super-

Wow, a foldable bike helmet with lights! I never knew I needed that until now.

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It's like someone looked at a regular helmet

and thought, "this is great, but can it fold in half?"

Therefore you can earn money.. this apps is very helpful to make 🤑 money 

Who even wears helmets? Why use safety when you can cross your fingers

and hope for the best?

I’ve got the power of God and anime on my

side, baby. Just shove your head into a watermelon and

try not to fall.Who cares about safety when you can look cool instead?

I don’t want to brag, guys, but I don’t

need a helmet. My doctor said my skull is, like, super thick. You heard that right, ladies.

You guys, with normal-thickness heads, should

probably wear helmets, though.